Below you will find a set of texts used on TypeRacer. Certain texts only appear on certain difficulties.
| Rank |
ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
Top Score |
Top 100 |
Average |
Active Since |
| 1. |
#4590068 |
What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A carpet. |
58 |
14 |
1.283 |
175.27 — (slyne) |
46.05 |
46.05 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 2. |
#4590091 |
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises f... |
86 |
1,001 |
1.144 |
173.85 — (slyne) |
119.93 |
67.34 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 3. |
#4590088 |
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using ... |
67 |
1,098 |
1.127 |
169.80 — beachturkey (beachtukrey) |
121.15 |
67.39 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 4. |
#4590017 |
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out ... |
71 |
1,983 |
1.125 |
207.15 — カジュアル (kajuaru) |
134.42 |
69.43 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 5. |
#4590012 |
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and ... |
81 |
1,579 |
1.109 |
166.90 — Josiah (josiahforever) |
121.49 |
64.71 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 6. |
#4590022 |
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I... |
99 |
1,467 |
1.102 |
185.22 — typing (t_y_p_i_n_g) |
117.93 |
65.27 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 7. |
#4590094 |
My buddy said he threw a stick five miles and his dog manage... |
121 |
840 |
1.097 |
160.05 — Renardo (renarded) |
108.93 |
64.60 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 8. |
#4590032 |
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit... |
64 |
96 |
1.097 |
83.20 — Chris (blarmon) |
30.79 |
30.79 |
December 9, 2020 |
| 9. |
#4590030 |
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did... |
117 |
1,491 |
1.095 |
153.28 — Martin (250 ELO) (iamtrasha... |
115.07 |
64.70 |
December 7, 2020 |
| 10. |
#4590038 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It dep... |
110 |
1,526 |
1.093 |
170.13 — Elluel (avirella) |
116.27 |
66.33 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 11. |
#4590049 |
Me and my wife, we've decided that we don't want to have chi... |
162 |
1,332 |
1.089 |
192.13 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
119.34 |
67.69 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 12. |
#4590037 |
Almost 6 million Americans currently are not working, and th... |
138 |
1,400 |
1.086 |
190.43 — quitting = cringe (angeio) |
122.58 |
66.76 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 13. |
#4590020 |
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that. |
63 |
1,490 |
1.079 |
208.04 — Martin (250 ELO) (iamtrasha... |
126.82 |
64.55 |
December 9, 2020 |
| 14. |
#4590039 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It dep... |
110 |
1,325 |
1.078 |
157.48 — Ronish Singh (razorlemon2) |
113.49 |
63.45 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 15. |
#4590061 |
What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitt... |
114 |
1,442 |
1.074 |
210.13 — Rimuru (yukomiya) |
116.44 |
64.23 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 16. |
#4590031 |
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. |
56 |
1,474 |
1.071 |
175.87 — Martin (250 ELO) (iamtrasha... |
113.19 |
61.96 |
December 20, 2020 |
| 17. |
#4590047 |
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places ... |
122 |
1,360 |
1.070 |
176.51 — Vielle (arc_sec) |
118.38 |
65.84 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 18. |
#4590077 |
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jai... |
122 |
847 |
1.070 |
152.20 — Lex (willow6932) |
108.96 |
65.04 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 19. |
#4590073 |
Did you hear about the young actor who fell through the floo... |
103 |
844 |
1.069 |
162.25 — Sweaty (josef_stylin) |
107.60 |
62.70 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 20. |
#4590002 |
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard... |
97 |
1,713 |
1.069 |
167.70 — Shanon (shadowyshadows) |
123.74 |
65.45 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 21. |
#4590055 |
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never... |
142 |
1,308 |
1.068 |
171.65 — ILOVEPALESTINE (iamslow103) |
114.98 |
64.82 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 22. |
#4590021 |
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at... |
69 |
99 |
1.064 |
74.47 — Nick (o3nick) |
32.08 |
32.08 |
December 10, 2020 |
| 23. |
#4590072 |
Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars! The cop... |
91 |
1,003 |
1.060 |
133.28 — Nick (syost) |
103.56 |
62.18 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 24. |
#4590071 |
Two ships collided. One was carrying a load of red paint, th... |
123 |
807 |
1.058 |
162.66 — (evestay) |
105.59 |
64.81 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 25. |
#4590014 |
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This taste... |
77 |
1,881 |
1.058 |
217.82 — カジュアル (kajuaru) |
119.18 |
64.71 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 26. |
#4590034 |
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off... |
81 |
605 |
1.057 |
188.04 — Ibexus (ibexus) |
98.61 |
52.39 |
December 7, 2020 |
| 27. |
#4590083 |
I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don't know why ev... |
134 |
798 |
1.056 |
152.76 — Ahmed (nesbmido) |
104.66 |
62.20 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 28. |
#4590013 |
What did one hat say to the other? You wait here. I'll go on... |
68 |
1,966 |
1.056 |
196.53 — im liquid smooth (chakk) |
123.64 |
64.91 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 29. |
#4590062 |
Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that d... |
74 |
1,591 |
1.054 |
196.24 — Vielle (arc_sec) |
122.29 |
63.85 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 30. |
#4590010 |
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has c... |
127 |
1,294 |
1.052 |
155.07 — typeracerplays (typeracerpl... |
104.86 |
60.98 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 31. |
#4590059 |
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited... |
110 |
1,330 |
1.051 |
155.83 — ivﾠonﾠutube (unreaii) |
112.49 |
62.98 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 32. |
#4590065 |
I was brought up in the wild by a pack of hyenas. Times were... |
113 |
829 |
1.050 |
136.40 — retired, for now ᐢ.‸.... |
102.94 |
61.95 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 33. |
#4590080 |
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. Th... |
81 |
1,100 |
1.048 |
187.03 — Martin (250 ELO) (iamtrasha... |
112.83 |
61.65 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 34. |
#4590058 |
An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it'... |
223 |
1,069 |
1.047 |
142.42 — Ahmed (nesbmido) |
106.73 |
65.34 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 35. |
#4590087 |
What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the r... |
138 |
865 |
1.046 |
218.24 — realboot (sahibprime) |
107.08 |
64.23 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 36. |
#4590054 |
I'm certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink ... |
114 |
1,332 |
1.043 |
166.30 — Renardo (renarded) |
111.69 |
63.77 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 37. |
#4590097 |
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They t... |
101 |
884 |
1.042 |
154.55 — typeracerplays (typeracerpl... |
110.97 |
62.44 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 38. |
#4590027 |
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is re... |
106 |
1,277 |
1.041 |
161.81 — stephen (thetypingstephen18) |
107.38 |
61.16 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 39. |
#4590093 |
What did the dog say to his doctor? Be careful with the ther... |
97 |
857 |
1.041 |
132.62 — William (wyxam) |
102.49 |
62.06 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 40. |
#4590036 |
How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin. |
63 |
1,674 |
1.040 |
179.15 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
115.46 |
62.63 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 41. |
#4590081 |
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be sp... |
90 |
937 |
1.039 |
154.18 — omar (streetfighterlan123) |
105.55 |
61.19 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 42. |
#4590078 |
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names... |
119 |
851 |
1.033 |
181.86 — Beaster (deeznutshagotch) |
108.89 |
64.07 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 43. |
#4590019 |
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll ... |
71 |
1,840 |
1.032 |
147.56 — Using Linux (kingvadanite) |
114.03 |
61.85 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 44. |
#4590018 |
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parac... |
87 |
1,727 |
1.032 |
162.59 — quitting = cringe (angeio) |
115.27 |
63.08 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 45. |
#4590051 |
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having... |
120 |
1,331 |
1.031 |
179.51 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
108.66 |
62.31 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 46. |
#4590090 |
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was... |
93 |
802 |
1.031 |
168.86 — typeracerplays (typeracerpl... |
101.18 |
60.92 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 47. |
#4590026 |
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in thei... |
155 |
1,362 |
1.030 |
176.39 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
109.76 |
62.59 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 48. |
#4590024 |
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm okay. |
57 |
1,457 |
1.029 |
175.20 — Vielle (arc_sec) |
120.49 |
60.90 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 49. |
#4590057 |
Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it won't l... |
119 |
1,346 |
1.028 |
142.71 — retired, for now ᐢ.‸.... |
111.11 |
61.49 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 50. |
#4590015 |
Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee befo... |
75 |
1,336 |
1.028 |
147.30 — bruh (ovecko) |
105.16 |
59.49 |
December 8, 2020 |
| 51. |
#4590067 |
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. |
53 |
1,062 |
1.026 |
162.24 — funny (tesseractbeyond) |
110.57 |
60.06 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 52. |
#4590045 |
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, appa... |
188 |
1,169 |
1.024 |
172.27 — Vielle (arc_sec) |
111.77 |
61.70 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 53. |
#4590084 |
A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should b... |
103 |
885 |
1.021 |
195.29 — realboot (sahibprime) |
103.66 |
59.22 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 54. |
#4590076 |
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A mel... |
66 |
972 |
1.018 |
178.90 — Beaster (deeznutshagotch) |
100.02 |
58.63 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 55. |
#4590079 |
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my elec... |
105 |
848 |
1.018 |
146.36 — ivﾠonﾠutube (unreaii) |
102.68 |
61.26 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 56. |
#4590075 |
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking through town? One... |
74 |
951 |
1.017 |
144.34 — leaf (leafblower174) |
100.04 |
58.42 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 57. |
#4590070 |
What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into ano... |
106 |
836 |
1.016 |
122.85 — keksdee (keksdeee) |
96.46 |
59.58 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 58. |
#4590098 |
What do visitors to the International Space Station have to ... |
103 |
871 |
1.013 |
151.06 — Lex (willow6932) |
98.87 |
59.96 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 59. |
#4590086 |
What's the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife t... |
154 |
801 |
1.011 |
137.25 — average discord mod (ifeelp... |
95.22 |
57.98 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 60. |
#4590089 |
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear ... |
107 |
776 |
1.008 |
198.12 — realboot (sahibprime) |
100.92 |
59.10 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 61. |
#4590050 |
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the te... |
89 |
1,438 |
1.006 |
206.90 — カジュアル (kajuaru) |
109.67 |
60.55 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 62. |
#4590069 |
Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish. |
53 |
966 |
1.006 |
143.08 — Jason (weekly5112) |
101.71 |
57.96 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 63. |
#4590092 |
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks. |
61 |
880 |
1.004 |
132.97 — Georg (dreadt666) |
99.42 |
57.04 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 64. |
#4590095 |
What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration?... |
79 |
968 |
1.004 |
156.67 — Oppy (maximumchris2) |
102.03 |
58.41 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 65. |
#4590096 |
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstandi... |
76 |
854 |
1.000 |
191.11 — Vielle (arc_sec) |
100.86 |
57.53 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 66. |
#4590028 |
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in comm... |
81 |
1,294 |
0.999 |
146.39 — klxu03 (theskillzrreal) |
101.77 |
57.35 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 67. |
#4590000 |
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but t... |
82 |
1,611 |
0.996 |
182.49 — ikjoshh (ikjoshh) |
117.45 |
61.04 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 68. |
#4590074 |
How does the solar system organize a party They planet! |
55 |
975 |
0.996 |
144.67 — funny (tesseractbeyond) |
105.31 |
58.96 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 69. |
#4590052 |
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and ye... |
121 |
1,137 |
0.996 |
138.46 — Josiah (josiahforever) |
101.53 |
58.92 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 70. |
#4590048 |
Oh darling, since you've started dieting, you've become such... |
143 |
1,210 |
0.993 |
146.97 — wy (randumbtyper) |
106.14 |
59.63 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 71. |
#4590040 |
My son Luke adores that we named him after Star Wars charact... |
121 |
1,373 |
0.992 |
163.07 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
105.07 |
59.05 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 72. |
#4590005 |
How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream. |
56 |
1,850 |
0.991 |
174.91 — quitting = cringe (angeio) |
119.53 |
59.80 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 73. |
#4590041 |
This morning my boss told me to "Have a great day!" So, I pu... |
96 |
1,362 |
0.990 |
142.31 — Ahmed (nesbmido) |
103.57 |
58.49 |
December 13, 2020 |
| 74. |
#4590085 |
Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies, bu... |
91 |
875 |
0.989 |
148.88 — Red (liquid293) |
100.23 |
58.71 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 75. |
#4590004 |
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up every... |
66 |
1,718 |
0.986 |
155.42 — Elluel (avirella) |
113.01 |
58.66 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 76. |
#4590064 |
One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any reactions... |
144 |
1,149 |
0.985 |
152.73 — (poem) |
103.75 |
58.06 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 77. |
#4590009 |
Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you s... |
89 |
1,488 |
0.984 |
185.29 — quitting = cringe (angeio) |
110.56 |
59.94 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 78. |
#4590053 |
A son asks his mother: Mom, the kids are laughing at me, the... |
158 |
1,168 |
0.983 |
165.58 — quitting = cringe (angeio) |
101.54 |
59.09 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 79. |
#4590056 |
My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant... |
107 |
1,201 |
0.983 |
138.74 — Ahmed (nesbmido) |
99.48 |
57.42 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 80. |
#4590003 |
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just nee... |
79 |
1,545 |
0.982 |
166.90 — Influensane - nonquit main/... |
102.47 |
57.66 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 81. |
#4590006 |
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous w... |
65 |
1,810 |
0.981 |
160.73 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
106.17 |
58.23 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 82. |
#4590035 |
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?... |
96 |
509 |
0.980 |
171.07 — カジュアル (kajuaru) |
86.47 |
48.94 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 83. |
#4590063 |
I got my girlfriend a "Get better soon" card. She's not ill ... |
109 |
1,175 |
0.977 |
133.22 — Dylan (meoweycupentcmc) |
97.54 |
55.63 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 84. |
#4590046 |
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to ... |
165 |
1,153 |
0.976 |
127.39 — LILfeatha (lilfeatha) |
97.13 |
56.68 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 85. |
#4590011 |
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a ... |
101 |
1,583 |
0.974 |
164.45 — Sean Wrona (arenasnow2) |
107.87 |
59.36 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 86. |
#4590043 |
Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off ... |
146 |
1,157 |
0.972 |
155.14 — quitting = cringe (angeio) |
94.40 |
55.75 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 87. |
#4590099 |
I knew a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could b... |
68 |
900 |
0.969 |
201.18 — realboot (sahibprime) |
96.41 |
56.00 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 88. |
#4590029 |
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was o... |
96 |
475 |
0.965 |
132.76 — 🧀 Chez (super_not_pro) |
79.76 |
46.96 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 89. |
#4590001 |
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu:... |
86 |
1,679 |
0.964 |
148.53 — youtu.be/mMLmCViaFKI (delaw... |
105.86 |
56.06 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 90. |
#4590044 |
I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had... |
142 |
1,111 |
0.961 |
178.41 — Vielle (arc_sec) |
97.24 |
55.09 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 91. |
#4590007 |
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always tak... |
79 |
1,264 |
0.958 |
152.53 — dawnium (simusqq;dictionary) |
99.73 |
53.87 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 92. |
#4590023 |
You're not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad... |
69 |
80 |
0.956 |
71.73 — Bernard (siko_lick) |
28.27 |
28.27 |
December 8, 2020 |
| 93. |
#4590025 |
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.... |
74 |
1,263 |
0.951 |
133.11 — average discord mod (ifeelp... |
98.00 |
55.52 |
December 14, 2020 |
| 94. |
#4590066 |
I go to the store and buy 4 bags of chips and 6 sodas, if I ... |
131 |
752 |
0.942 |
111.86 — 🐼 (bobby76) |
88.46 |
54.01 |
January 27, 2021 |
| 95. |
#4590042 |
Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? Mom, my name is Paul. |
59 |
1,406 |
0.940 |
142.97 — Red (liquid293) |
100.12 |
54.55 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 96. |
#4590082 |
What's an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The space ... |
64 |
853 |
0.918 |
166.88 — omar (streetfighterlan123) |
94.18 |
52.71 |
January 26, 2021 |
| 97. |
#4590016 |
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receiv... |
116 |
1,258 |
0.916 |
154.68 — typeracerplays (typeracerpl... |
96.22 |
54.18 |
December 6, 2020 |
| 98. |
#4590033 |
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's... |
129 |
1,110 |
0.901 |
153.69 — Keyma.sh is better (ryleyx... |
92.03 |
52.19 |
December 7, 2020 |
| 99. |
#4590060 |
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have no... |
85 |
1,253 |
0.897 |
138.17 — Just a man in a hotdog van ... |
93.13 |
51.37 |
December 15, 2020 |
| 100. |
#4590008 |
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitt... |
115 |
1,208 |
0.867 |
135.07 — funny (tesseractbeyond) |
95.06 |
51.40 |
December 6, 2020 |