| ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
| 4590001 |
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you de... |
86 |
1,679 |
0.9638 |
| 4590002 |
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going... |
97 |
1,713 |
1.0688 |
| 4590003 |
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. |
79 |
1,545 |
0.9823 |
| 4590005 |
How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream. |
56 |
1,850 |
0.9907 |
| 4590007 |
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally. |
79 |
1,264 |
0.9581 |
| 4590008 |
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!" The doctor repl... |
115 |
1,208 |
0.8672 |
| 4590014 |
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny. |
77 |
1,881 |
1.0577 |
| 4590015 |
Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool. |
75 |
1,336 |
1.0276 |
| 4590016 |
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But... |
116 |
1,258 |
0.9157 |
| 4590018 |
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving... |
87 |
1,727 |
1.0319 |
| 4590021 |
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo. |
69 |
99 |
1.0635 |
| 4590022 |
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they cal... |
99 |
1,467 |
1.1018 |
| 4590023 |
You're not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example. |
69 |
80 |
0.9563 |
| 4590026 |
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, w... |
155 |
1,362 |
1.0295 |
| 4590027 |
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the ... |
106 |
1,277 |
1.0413 |
| 4590028 |
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name. |
81 |
1,294 |
0.9992 |
| 4590029 |
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the doo... |
96 |
475 |
0.9646 |
| 4590032 |
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
64 |
96 |
1.0968 |
| 4590033 |
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind ... |
129 |
1,110 |
0.9008 |
| 4590034 |
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. |
81 |
605 |
1.0567 |
| 4590035 |
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and do... |
96 |
509 |
0.9798 |
| 4590036 |
How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin. |
63 |
1,674 |
1.0398 |
| 4590037 |
Almost 6 million Americans currently are not working, and that number skyrockets... |
138 |
1,400 |
1.0857 |
| 4590039 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on what kind of... |
110 |
1,325 |
1.0783 |
| 4590040 |
My son Luke adores that we named him after Star Wars characters. His brother Jab... |
121 |
1,373 |
0.9923 |
| 4590041 |
This morning my boss told me to "Have a great day!" So, I punched him in the fac... |
96 |
1,362 |
0.9900 |
| 4590043 |
Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minu... |
146 |
1,157 |
0.9720 |
| 4590044 |
I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had "Final Notice" writ... |
142 |
1,111 |
0.9614 |
| 4590045 |
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out of 10 p... |
188 |
1,169 |
1.0243 |
| 4590048 |
Oh darling, since you've started dieting, you've become such a passionate kisser... |
143 |
1,210 |
0.9925 |
| 4590049 |
Me and my wife, we've decided that we don't want to have children. So anybody wh... |
162 |
1,332 |
1.0889 |
| 4590050 |
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodk... |
89 |
1,438 |
1.0062 |
| 4590052 |
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so po... |
121 |
1,137 |
0.9955 |
| 4590053 |
A son asks his mother: Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are t... |
158 |
1,168 |
0.9831 |
| 4590059 |
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as... |
110 |
1,330 |
1.0511 |
| 4590061 |
What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with ... |
114 |
1,442 |
1.0738 |
| 4590063 |
I got my girlfriend a "Get better soon" card. She's not ill or anything, but she... |
109 |
1,175 |
0.9773 |
| 4590064 |
One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that... |
144 |
1,149 |
0.9846 |
| 4590065 |
I was brought up in the wild by a pack of hyenas. Times were hard, food was scar... |
113 |
829 |
1.0499 |
| 4590066 |
I go to the store and buy 4 bags of chips and 6 sodas, if I eat 3 bags of chips ... |
131 |
752 |
0.9416 |
| 4590067 |
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. |
53 |
1,062 |
1.0259 |
| 4590068 |
What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A carpet. |
58 |
14 |
1.2825 |
| 4590069 |
Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish. |
53 |
966 |
1.0061 |
| 4590070 |
What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into another sea creature? I... |
106 |
836 |
1.0156 |
| 4590071 |
Two ships collided. One was carrying a load of red paint, the other a load of bl... |
123 |
807 |
1.0582 |
| 4590072 |
Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars! The cops are working on it ... |
91 |
1,003 |
1.0596 |
| 4590073 |
Did you hear about the young actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just... |
103 |
844 |
1.0692 |
| 4590074 |
How does the solar system organize a party They planet! |
55 |
975 |
0.9958 |
| 4590075 |
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking through town? One was a salted! |
74 |
951 |
1.0168 |
| 4590076 |
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown! |
66 |
972 |
1.0175 |
| 4590077 |
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently yo... |
122 |
847 |
1.0698 |
| 4590078 |
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instrume... |
119 |
851 |
1.0329 |
| 4590079 |
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my electric bill. It was th... |
105 |
848 |
1.0175 |
| 4590080 |
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. |
81 |
1,100 |
1.0476 |
| 4590081 |
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone... |
90 |
937 |
1.0389 |
| 4590082 |
What's an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The space bar. |
64 |
853 |
0.9177 |
| 4590083 |
I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don't know why everyone makes such a ... |
134 |
798 |
1.0560 |
| 4590084 |
A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I'... |
103 |
885 |
1.0206 |
| 4590085 |
Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies, but he's never gonna g... |
91 |
875 |
0.9886 |
| 4590086 |
What's the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot?... |
154 |
801 |
1.0107 |
| 4590087 |
What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? Wow, I relish t... |
138 |
865 |
1.0464 |
| 4590088 |
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas. |
67 |
1,098 |
1.1273 |
| 4590089 |
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give h... |
107 |
776 |
1.0082 |
| 4590090 |
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecuti... |
93 |
802 |
1.0305 |
| 4590091 |
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned ... |
86 |
1,001 |
1.1443 |
| 4590092 |
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks. |
61 |
880 |
1.0040 |
| 4590093 |
What did the dog say to his doctor? Be careful with the thermometer, last time i... |
97 |
857 |
1.0407 |
| 4590094 |
My buddy said he threw a stick five miles and his dog managed to find it and bro... |
121 |
840 |
1.0973 |
| 4590095 |
What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration? She draws a blank. |
79 |
968 |
1.0037 |
| 4590096 |
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. |
76 |
854 |
0.9999 |
| 4590097 |
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putt... |
101 |
884 |
1.0417 |
| 4590098 |
What do visitors to the International Space Station have to do before boarding? ... |
103 |
871 |
1.0134 |
| 4590099 |
I knew a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could binomial. |
68 |
900 |
0.9690 |