| ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
| 4590000 |
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. |
82 |
1,564 |
0.9979 |
| 4590001 |
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you de... |
86 |
1,629 |
0.9668 |
| 4590002 |
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going... |
97 |
1,665 |
1.0698 |
| 4590003 |
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. |
79 |
1,496 |
0.9814 |
| 4590004 |
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. |
66 |
1,664 |
0.9894 |
| 4590005 |
How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream. |
56 |
1,800 |
0.9917 |
| 4590006 |
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck. |
65 |
1,771 |
0.9822 |
| 4590007 |
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally. |
79 |
1,220 |
0.9604 |
| 4590009 |
Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink an... |
89 |
1,443 |
0.9830 |
| 4590010 |
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of p... |
127 |
1,256 |
1.0509 |
| 4590011 |
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks! I'l... |
101 |
1,540 |
0.9746 |
| 4590012 |
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells. |
81 |
1,540 |
1.1090 |
| 4590014 |
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny. |
77 |
1,827 |
1.0606 |
| 4590015 |
Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool. |
75 |
1,291 |
1.0282 |
| 4590016 |
And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But... |
116 |
1,223 |
0.9167 |
| 4590017 |
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort. |
71 |
1,932 |
1.1246 |
| 4590018 |
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving... |
87 |
1,666 |
1.0324 |
| 4590019 |
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. |
71 |
1,786 |
1.0320 |
| 4590020 |
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that. |
63 |
1,429 |
1.0815 |
| 4590021 |
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo. |
69 |
96 |
1.0579 |
| 4590022 |
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they cal... |
99 |
1,419 |
1.1026 |
| 4590023 |
You're not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example. |
69 |
79 |
0.9591 |
| 4590024 |
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm okay. |
57 |
1,417 |
1.0324 |
| 4590025 |
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard. |
74 |
1,217 |
0.9526 |
| 4590026 |
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, w... |
155 |
1,322 |
1.0297 |
| 4590027 |
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the ... |
106 |
1,234 |
1.0399 |
| 4590028 |
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name. |
81 |
1,249 |
0.9989 |
| 4590029 |
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the doo... |
96 |
461 |
0.9636 |
| 4590030 |
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in t... |
117 |
1,451 |
1.0955 |
| 4590031 |
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. |
56 |
1,427 |
1.0722 |
| 4590032 |
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
64 |
92 |
1.1190 |
| 4590033 |
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind ... |
129 |
1,074 |
0.9016 |
| 4590034 |
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. |
81 |
593 |
1.0558 |
| 4590035 |
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and do... |
96 |
488 |
0.9780 |
| 4590036 |
How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin. |
63 |
1,617 |
1.0403 |
| 4590037 |
Almost 6 million Americans currently are not working, and that number skyrockets... |
138 |
1,362 |
1.0868 |
| 4590038 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on what kind of... |
110 |
1,481 |
1.0947 |
| 4590039 |
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on what kind of... |
110 |
1,277 |
1.0772 |
| 4590040 |
My son Luke adores that we named him after Star Wars characters. His brother Jab... |
121 |
1,328 |
0.9912 |
| 4590041 |
This morning my boss told me to "Have a great day!" So, I punched him in the fac... |
96 |
1,326 |
0.9904 |
| 4590042 |
Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? Mom, my name is Paul. |
59 |
1,365 |
0.9426 |
| 4590043 |
Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minu... |
146 |
1,111 |
0.9713 |
| 4590044 |
I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had "Final Notice" writ... |
142 |
1,079 |
0.9612 |
| 4590045 |
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out of 10 p... |
188 |
1,136 |
1.0241 |
| 4590046 |
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover th... |
165 |
1,109 |
0.9768 |
| 4590047 |
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be... |
122 |
1,319 |
1.0709 |
| 4590048 |
Oh darling, since you've started dieting, you've become such a passionate kisser... |
143 |
1,162 |
0.9940 |
| 4590049 |
Me and my wife, we've decided that we don't want to have children. So anybody wh... |
162 |
1,283 |
1.0888 |
| 4590050 |
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodk... |
89 |
1,384 |
1.0063 |
| 4590051 |
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instanc... |
120 |
1,299 |
1.0311 |
| 4590052 |
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so po... |
121 |
1,096 |
0.9960 |
| 4590053 |
A son asks his mother: Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are t... |
158 |
1,130 |
0.9827 |
| 4590054 |
I'm certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk non... |
114 |
1,286 |
1.0424 |
| 4590055 |
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it because... |
142 |
1,261 |
1.0698 |
| 4590056 |
My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when... |
107 |
1,155 |
0.9859 |
| 4590057 |
Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it won't let you finish your s... |
119 |
1,311 |
1.0289 |
| 4590058 |
An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it's an exit. A pessimi... |
223 |
1,038 |
1.0476 |
| 4590059 |
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as... |
110 |
1,282 |
1.0507 |
| 4590060 |
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes... |
85 |
1,214 |
0.8957 |
| 4590061 |
What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with ... |
114 |
1,395 |
1.0735 |
| 4590062 |
Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can't fly. |
74 |
1,544 |
1.0559 |
| 4590063 |
I got my girlfriend a "Get better soon" card. She's not ill or anything, but she... |
109 |
1,128 |
0.9799 |
| 4590064 |
One shop owner asks another, "So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that... |
144 |
1,125 |
0.9854 |
| 4590065 |
I was brought up in the wild by a pack of hyenas. Times were hard, food was scar... |
113 |
787 |
1.0524 |
| 4590066 |
I go to the store and buy 4 bags of chips and 6 sodas, if I eat 3 bags of chips ... |
131 |
714 |
0.9435 |
| 4590067 |
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. |
53 |
1,027 |
1.0271 |
| 4590068 |
What do you call an animal you keep in your car? A carpet. |
58 |
14 |
1.2825 |
| 4590069 |
Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish. |
53 |
928 |
1.0085 |
| 4590070 |
What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into another sea creature? I... |
106 |
800 |
1.0160 |
| 4590071 |
Two ships collided. One was carrying a load of red paint, the other a load of bl... |
123 |
771 |
1.0551 |
| 4590072 |
Someone stole the wheels off of all the police cars! The cops are working on it ... |
91 |
964 |
1.0616 |
| 4590073 |
Did you hear about the young actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just... |
103 |
803 |
1.0688 |
| 4590074 |
How does the solar system organize a party They planet! |
55 |
938 |
0.9977 |
| 4590075 |
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking through town? One was a salted! |
74 |
897 |
1.0175 |
| 4590076 |
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown! |
66 |
933 |
1.0183 |
| 4590077 |
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently yo... |
122 |
802 |
1.0745 |
| 4590078 |
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instrume... |
119 |
804 |
1.0326 |
| 4590079 |
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn't pay my electric bill. It was th... |
105 |
817 |
1.0210 |
| 4590080 |
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. |
81 |
1,054 |
1.0504 |
| 4590081 |
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone... |
90 |
906 |
1.0410 |
| 4590082 |
What's an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? The space bar. |
64 |
809 |
0.9187 |
| 4590083 |
I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don't know why everyone makes such a ... |
134 |
759 |
1.0559 |
| 4590084 |
A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I'... |
103 |
853 |
1.0208 |
| 4590085 |
Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies, but he's never gonna g... |
91 |
834 |
0.9887 |
| 4590086 |
What's the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot?... |
154 |
766 |
1.0142 |
| 4590087 |
What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? Wow, I relish t... |
138 |
826 |
1.0478 |
| 4590088 |
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas. |
67 |
1,041 |
1.1277 |
| 4590089 |
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give h... |
107 |
748 |
1.0076 |
| 4590090 |
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecuti... |
93 |
770 |
1.0326 |
| 4590091 |
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned ... |
86 |
950 |
1.1459 |
| 4590092 |
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks. |
61 |
843 |
1.0039 |
| 4590093 |
What did the dog say to his doctor? Be careful with the thermometer, last time i... |
97 |
835 |
1.0422 |
| 4590094 |
My buddy said he threw a stick five miles and his dog managed to find it and bro... |
121 |
798 |
1.1012 |
| 4590095 |
What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration? She draws a blank. |
79 |
921 |
1.0043 |
| 4590096 |
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. |
76 |
807 |
0.9981 |
| 4590097 |
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putt... |
101 |
846 |
1.0431 |
| 4590098 |
What do visitors to the International Space Station have to do before boarding? ... |
103 |
841 |
1.0123 |
| 4590099 |
I knew a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could binomial. |
68 |
855 |
0.9691 |