Ire (ire_of_suburbia)

Race #381

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Official speed 54.85 wpm (82.04 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start March 11, 2018 11:58:02pm UTC
Race Finish March 11, 2018 11:59:24pm UTC
Outcome No win (3 of 4)
Opponents 1. obesellama (92.62 wpm)
2. jacksmurthwaite (80.54 wpm)
Accuracy 97.0%
Points 67.65
Text #3640517 (Length: 375 characters)

The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom, I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you to go for a phony fever, but if you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. You fake a stomach cramp, when you're bent over wailing, you lick your palms. It's childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.