Jimmy (toomanyburpees)

Race #330

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Official speed 118.02 wpm (39.45 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start July 23, 2021 12:10:15am UTC
Race Finish July 23, 2021 12:10:54am UTC
Outcome No win (2 of 5)
Opponents 1. paradoxpigeon (141.47 wpm)
3. charlieog (106.01 wpm)
4. demancer (100.33 wpm)
5. _pmirum (86.06 wpm)
Accuracy 99.0%
Points 145.56
Text #4060269 (Length: 388 characters)

On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is just the lowest function of human life. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume was in charge?