Below you will find a set of texts used on TypeRacer. Certain texts only appear on certain difficulties.
| Rank |
ID |
Text |
Length |
Races |
Difficulty Rating |
Top Score |
Top 100 |
Average |
Active Since |
| 1. |
#3810012 |
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the very long term, I know which will make better memories. |
215 |
71 |
1.080 |
126.94 — retired, for now ᐢ.‸.... |
75.84 |
75.84 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 2. |
#3810023 |
We don't understand what really causes events to happen. History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices. |
307 |
70 |
1.078 |
151.92 — police (styrofoam) |
79.86 |
79.86 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 3. |
#3810030 |
Space travel makes you realize just how small you really are. When you see Earth as a tiny blue speck in the infinite reaches of space, you have to wonder about the mysteries of creation. Surely we're all part of some great design, no more or less important than anything else in the universe. Surely everything fits together and has a purpose, a reason for being. Doesn't it make you wonder? |
392 |
35 |
1.077 |
153.17 — run thru the finish line (p... |
85.97 |
85.97 |
November 20, 2020 |
| 4. |
#3810006 |
Architects should be forced to live in the buildings they design, and children's book authors should be forced to read their stories aloud every single night of their rotten lives. |
180 |
68 |
1.076 |
152.41 — ST3RN (st3rn) |
77.06 |
77.06 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 5. |
#3810000 |
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. |
132 |
54 |
1.053 |
179.82 — police (styrofoam) |
84.29 |
84.29 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 6. |
#3810019 |
When I grow up, I'm not going to read the newspaper and I'm not going to follow complex issues and I'm not going to vote. That way I can complain that the government doesn't represent me. Then, when everything goes down the tubes, I can say the system doesn't work and justify my further lack of participation. |
310 |
64 |
1.048 |
132.43 — retired, for now ᐢ.‸.... |
74.82 |
74.82 |
November 23, 2020 |
| 7. |
#3810014 |
Why does man create? Is it man's purpose on earth to express himself, to bring form to thought, and to discover meaning in experience? Or is it just something to do when he's bored? |
181 |
78 |
1.039 |
147.43 — police (styrofoam) |
69.83 |
69.83 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 8. |
#3810029 |
I hate all the rules and organization and teams and ranks in sports. Somebody's always yelling at you, telling you where to be, what to do, and when to do it. I figure when I want THAT, I'll join the army and at least get paid. |
227 |
69 |
1.038 |
131.73 — Turning 14 in 2 Weeks! (spe... |
75.45 |
75.45 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 9. |
#3810008 |
As you can see, I've memorized this utterly useless fact long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations. |
217 |
64 |
1.035 |
131.55 — hey everyone :) (razertypist) |
67.92 |
67.92 |
November 19, 2020 |
| 10. |
#3810025 |
This transmogrifier will turn you into anything at all. All you do is set this indicator, and the machine automatically restructures your chemical configuration. You can be an eel, a baboon, a giant bug, or a dinosaur. |
218 |
80 |
1.034 |
139.51 — ST3RN (st3rn) |
75.52 |
75.52 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 11. |
#3810004 |
A hatch opened up and the aliens said, "We're sorry to learn that you soon will be dead, but though you may find this slightly macabre, we prefer your extinction to the loss of our job." |
186 |
61 |
1.032 |
161.31 — police (styrofoam) |
63.12 |
63.12 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 12. |
#3810001 |
I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of forests. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. |
242 |
61 |
1.027 |
161.25 — ⛧🦇🎃💀🎃🦇⛧ ... |
77.65 |
77.65 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 13. |
#3810017 |
I don't know what's weirder - that you're fighting a stuffed animal or that you seem to be losing. |
98 |
45 |
1.022 |
164.45 — (zambricks) |
109.65 |
109.65 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 14. |
#3810027 |
Let's say life is this square of the sidewalk. We're born at this crack and we die at that crack. Now we find ourselves somewhere inside the square, and in the process of walking out of it, suddenly we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless? Does anything we say or do in here really matter? Have we done anything important? Have we been happy? Have we made the most of these precious footsteps? |
433 |
31 |
1.016 |
141.56 — police (styrofoam) |
83.52 |
83.52 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 15. |
#3810010 |
The hard part for us avant-garde post-modern artists is deciding whether or not to embrace commercialism. Do we allow our work to be hyped and exploited by a market that's simply hungry for the next new thing? Do we participate in a system that turns high art into low art so it's better suited for mass consumption? Of course, when an artist goes commercial, he makes a mockery of his status as an outsider and free thinker. He buys into the crass and shallow values art should transcend. He trades the integrity of his art for riches and fame. Oh, what the heck. I'll do it. |
576 |
19 |
1.004 |
143.47 — run thru the finish line (p... |
81.78 |
81.78 |
November 20, 2020 |
| 16. |
#3810002 |
Susie, if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin. |
177 |
60 |
1.003 |
128.93 — Háčky (hatschky) |
60.72 |
60.72 |
November 19, 2020 |
| 17. |
#3810022 |
I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! |
244 |
55 |
1.003 |
135.81 — police (styrofoam) |
77.64 |
77.64 |
November 6, 2020 |
| 18. |
#3810021 |
I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed. |
118 |
51 |
1.003 |
156.99 — (zambricks) |
75.32 |
75.32 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 19. |
#3810013 |
It's not enough to change a few little habits! Everybody I know needs a complete personality overhaul! |
102 |
58 |
1.001 |
150.92 — (zambricks) |
88.31 |
88.31 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 20. |
#3810015 |
I like following the news! News organizations know I won't sit still for any serious discussion of complex and boring issues. They give me what I want: antics, emotional confrontation, sound bites, scandal, sob stories and popularity polls all packaged as a soap opera and horse race! It's very entertaining. |
308 |
61 |
0.986 |
133.46 — run thru the finish line (p... |
66.56 |
66.56 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 21. |
#3810026 |
My ethicator machine must've had a built-in moral compromise spectral release phantasmatron! I'm a genius! |
106 |
62 |
0.982 |
141.91 — (zambricks) |
82.58 |
82.58 |
November 19, 2020 |
| 22. |
#3810016 |
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak! Am I scary, or what? |
241 |
65 |
0.978 |
150.52 — ikandoit (ikandoit) |
66.73 |
66.73 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 23. |
#3810018 |
Fine art is dead, Hobbes. Nobody understands it. Nobody likes it. Nobody sees it. It's irrelevant in today's culture. If you want to influence people, POPULAR art is the way to go. Mass market commercial art is the future. Besides, it's the only way to make serious money and that's what's important about being an artist. |
322 |
28 |
0.976 |
120.85 — Háčky (hatschky) |
76.53 |
76.53 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 24. |
#3810003 |
Susie, if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin. |
177 |
62 |
0.976 |
113.75 — Jakub (jakubjks) |
56.87 |
56.87 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 25. |
#3810020 |
Other kids' games are all such a bore! They've got to have rules and they gotta keep score! Calvinball is better by far! It's never the same! It's always bizarre! You don't need a team or a referee! You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me! |
252 |
45 |
0.964 |
103.16 — trout cooker (perpetuallytr... |
60.45 |
60.45 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 26. |
#3810024 |
So long, Pop! I'm off to check my tiger trap! I rigged a tuna fish sandwich yesterday, so I'm sure to have a tiger by now! |
122 |
36 |
0.964 |
124.77 — Jeffrey (jeffreyyu18) |
50.23 |
50.23 |
November 25, 2020 |
| 27. |
#3810011 |
Nothing I do is my fault. My family is dysfunctional, and my parents won't empower me! Consequently, I'm not self-actualized! My behavior is addictive functioning in a disease process of codependency! I need holistic healing and wellness before I accept any responsibility for my actions! |
288 |
40 |
0.957 |
114.02 — Tubby (tubbsters) |
68.80 |
68.80 |
November 18, 2020 |
| 28. |
#3810007 |
Paul Gauguin asked, "Whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway? |
241 |
50 |
0.942 |
110.61 — andy (rodmc) |
63.52 |
63.52 |
November 20, 2020 |
| 29. |
#3810028 |
Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, Oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces... Ughh, look at the spider suck out that bug's juices! |
183 |
69 |
0.942 |
106.72 — run thru the finish line (p... |
60.46 |
60.46 |
November 24, 2020 |
| 30. |
#3810005 |
Miss Wormwood, I protest this "C" grade! That's saying I only did an "average" job! I got 75% of the answers correct, and in today's society, doing something 75% right is outstanding! If government and industry were 75% competent, we'd be ecstatic! I won't stand for this artificial standard of performance! I demand an "A" for this kind of work! |
346 |
27 |
0.893 |
117.84 — retired, for now ᐢ.‸.... |
65.78 |
65.78 |
November 23, 2020 |
| 31. |
#3810009 |
Attention! All rise! This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. is now called to order by the great grandiose dictator-for-life, the ruler supreme, the fearless, the brave, the held-high-in-esteem, Calvin the Bold! Yes, stand up and hail his humbleness now! May his wisdom prevail! Three cheers for First Tiger and El Presidente, Hobbes, the delight of all cognoscenti! He's savvy! He has a prodigious IQ, and lots of panache, as all tigers do! In his fancy chapeau, he's a leader with taste! May his orders be heeded and his views be embraced! |
528 |
19 |
0.840 |
127.30 — run thru the finish line (p... |
65.15 |
65.15 |
November 18, 2020 |