The fastest kid alive (tupapi11)

Race #1284

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Official speed 75.83 wpm (83.24 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start May 12, 2019 2:28:25am UTC
Race Finish May 12, 2019 2:29:49am UTC
Outcome Win (1 of 3)
Opponents 3. riskirw (69.62 wpm)
Accuracy 96.0%
Points 111.22
Text #3550709 (Length: 526 characters)

Hey look, buddy, I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. Fr'instance... How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer... use a gun. And if that don't work... use more gun. Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me... Built by me... and you'd best hope... not pointed at you.