Obviously a hacker (obviouslyahacker)

Race #1252

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Official speed 62.12 wpm (67.80 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start June 3, 2016 11:04:00am UTC
Race Finish June 3, 2016 11:05:07am UTC
Outcome No win (4 of 5)
Opponents 1. dragon261 (90.30 wpm)
Accuracy 91.0%
Points 0.00
Text #392 (Length: 351 characters)

Jay made up for the lack of glamour in his assignment by having a romance with a local miller's daughter, which he initiated by letting air out of her bicycle tires. He also earned himself a promotion to lieutenant on the strength of his commonsense suggestion that the army could save lots of cargo space by deboning beef before shipping it overseas.