I play tetris too (hkgwife)

I'm not fighting because of my feelings of debt or obligation to others. I fight 'cause in the end, I love boxing. It's certainly quite a world apart from the bright youth you talk about, but that burning sense of worth and completeness is something I've only tasted on a bloodied ring. And this burning sensation isn't a momentary sputter that others my age go through. It's so intense that it burns your entire body up in an instant. And when it's over, only white ashes remain. Not even any tiny cinders... just pure white ash. I've never felt anything like this before I started boxing. So you see, I'm not fighting on a sense of debt or obligation alone. I fight because I love to fight.