Mr.IF (mr_if)

Race #6364

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Official speed 76.42 wpm (95.47 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start August 29, 2023 2:16:11pm UTC
Race Finish August 29, 2023 2:17:46pm UTC
Outcome No win (3 of 5)
Opponents 1. johnprogrammer1 (115.64 wpm)
2. green910 (90.19 wpm)
Accuracy 95.0%
Points 128.64
Text #5390150 (Length: 608 characters)

I was crying pointlessly on the kitchen floor. As was common practice during bouts of floor-crying, I was staring straight ahead at nothing in particular and feeling sort of weird about myself. Then, through the film of tears and nothingness, I spotted a tiny shriveled piece of corn under the refrigerator. I don't claim to know why this happened, but when I saw the piece of corn, something snapped inside me, and then that thing twisted through a few permutations of logic that I don't understand, and produced the most confusing bout of uncontrollable, debilitating laughter that I have ever experienced.