The fastest kid alive (tupapi11)

Race #421

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Official speed 67.05 wpm (84.47 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start January 6, 2019 2:07:20am UTC
Race Finish January 6, 2019 2:08:44am UTC
Outcome No win (3 of 3)
Opponents 1. amazinghedgehog (90.96 wpm)
2. noximini (88.27 wpm)
Accuracy 95.0%
Points 100.58
Text #3641263 (Length: 472 characters)

Oh, you're right it's sarcasm! A few weeks ago, I was happily retired, sulking by my swimming pool, and my psychotic best friend shows up out of nowhere to torture me over mistakes I made, honest mistakes I made over a decade ago! We, our little posse, are flat broke, but hey, let's go out and spend two million dollars on a tandem rotor chopper, so I can go steal nerve gas from terrorists! Forgive me, but sarcasm is all I've got! Sarcasm, and a room full of you fools!