Cyrus (zombie_kid_likes_turtles)

Race #239

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Official speed 97.56 wpm (47.72 seconds elapsed during race)
Race Start December 1, 2020 8:09:21am UTC
Race Finish December 1, 2020 8:10:09am UTC
Outcome No win (2 of 5)
Opponents 4. pipicomel (73.78 wpm)
5. antifragile (70.96 wpm)
Accuracy 98.0%
Points 120.33
Text #4060269 (Length: 388 characters)

On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is just the lowest function of human life. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume was in charge?